I went to New York this past weekend. Went by myself. (SAY WHAT).
Didn't have any problem at all, and I wish I could have stayed longer. I'm definitely going back.
The main reason I went was to see the revival production of She Loves Me, which hasn't been on Broadway since 1994. It's first performances were in 1963, and this most recent revival will be its third.
The main reason I wanted to see this play was because of Zachary Levi, whom I've been a huge fan of for years and just adore. I missed out on First Date, which was his BWay debut, and damned if I was going to miss out on this one.
I was not disappointed. There is a reason this play has been nominated for a ton of Tonys this year.
The whole production was exquisite. Absolutely stunning. The story was relate-able, it was funny and charming. You can tell the cast really has chemistry; they play off of each other so very well. Everyone's voices are just superb, especially Laura Benati's. I was extremely surprised at her voice, it's borderline opera and just gorgeous. I would kill to see her play Christine Daae in Phantom should they ever revive it.
Zac, of course, was wonderful. That man has some serious pipes. All that energy and his facial expressions, he's made for the stage and he deserves the heck out of that Tony nomination. I'm so proud of him for all that he's accomplished!
The other thing I did while I was there was go to the 9/11 Memorial and museum. What an experience. I cried the whole time, naturally. It is a wonderful tribute. Everyone should go and see it for themselves, especially the museum. It chronicles everything from that day and has the flags and memorials all throughout the building. It's surreal. I am so lucky that I got to go and pay my respects.
All in all, New York is a very complex and interesting city. I will definitely be going back for a longer trip.
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
SEAN BEAN WHY
Season One of 'A Game of Thrones'.
Yes, that's right. I've never seen it.
I'll wait while you stare with your mouth agape like a fish.
......
Done?
Anyway, I don't have HBO, and while the show IS right up my alley, I was disappointed (again) to hear that my main reason for seeing said show was killed off in the first season. I'm looking at you, Sean Bean, you adorable hunk of a man. (But like WHY does he always die?? Why?? He is a precious cinnamon roll who has all the talent and is fucking adorable STOP THE MADNESS.)
Anyway. Currently, I have finished the first three books and figured I should actually watch the show so I can be caught up on both by the time season 6 rolls around this April. (Don't think I can do it? Challenge accepted.)
While watching the show, (and having some wine because duh) I had some thoughts. (A friend of mine thinks they're hilarious and was upset I wasn't live tweeting this experience, but I digress.) I present you,
Random Thoughts While Watching 'A Game of Thrones': Season 1
1) These opening credits are legit. I appreciate them because personally, I canNOT figure out where all these damn cities are. It's very helpful.
2) Oh man. The Wall is CRAZY. Just like I pictured it.
3) NED!!! *heart emoji heart emoji heart emoji*
4) THERE'S THE MEME. THERE IT IS. I SEE THE MEME GUYS.
5) O HAI Jon Snow
6) Okay so like, King's Landing is fucking stunning and I want to live there. (Not really)
7) Winterfell is Bae
8) Ugh. Joffery. Ew
9) THE HOUND! So not as gross looking as he should be, come on guys, you can do better than that
10) OMG KING ROBERT IS PERFECT SHOUT OUT TO THE CASTING DEPARTMENT
11) JUST SAY NO NED. YOU'LL THANK ME LATER
12) Tyrion's hair is not THAT blonde in the books. Or the later seasons. What happened there? Is it because he gets so stressed out he goes darker? Is that a thing?
13) He may be a Lannister and I hate his guts, but that Jamie has a sense of HUMOR.
14) There's baby Khaleesi! Without the purple eyes? Again, you guys can do better! It's just contacts!
15) O HAI KHAL DROGO. Seriously Jason Mamoa is a babe
16) Everyone is naked in this show EXCEPT Sean Bean, I call bull!
17) First wave of tears: Jon saying goodbye to Arya. Such innocence!
18) "When I get back, we'll talk about your mother." NO WE WON'T! Also, JON IS SO LYANNA AND RHAEGAR'S KID YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. There I said it.
19) Hold the phone. I just realized something. The actress that plays Cersei is in 300. And is Gerard Butler's badass Queen. Mind. Blown.
20) Seriously Tyrion is the best Lannister. THE SASS.
21) Cat and Ned are the cutest.
22) Dammit Cat. This is why we can't have nice things. PUT THE DWARF BACK WHERE YOU FOUND HIM, YOU'LL THANK ME LATER.
23) Attacking people in the streets randomly because we can? JAMIE THIS IS WHY NO ONE LIKES YOU.
24) Robert is SO done with the Lannister vs Stark crap. If he only knew.
25) WHOA Renly is gay?!?!? I hardcore (har har) missed that memo.
26) LISTEN TO ARYA NED, AND LEAVE. IGNORE ROBERT'S BASTARD CHILDREN AND RUN. JUST DO IT. DOOOOOOO IT. YOU'LL THANK ME LATER.
27) NO NED THAT DOES NOT MEAN WE CONFRONT CERSEI ABOUT HER GROSS LOVE AFFAIR WITH HER TWIN BROTHER WHAT IN SEVEN HELLS ARE YOU DOING YOU ADORABLE HONORABLE IDIOT
28) RIP Robert. You were entertaining. And kind of an idiot. And now shit is going to hit the fan. Thanks for that.
29) Seriously the Starks are the BEST family and I want them to adopt me.
30) Oh no. They're killing EVERYONE. This is filmed SO well. I feel like I'm there.
31) OH HAI ROBB STARK there you are.
32) I'm a little concerned about these direwolves. I mean, I realize you can't have ACTUAL wolves but as cute as the huskies are, they're just NOT that intimidating.
33) Oh Jamie. So captured.
34) Whatever you do, do NOT call Ned a traitor in front of Jon. He knows how to wield sharp pointy things and is NOT afraid to use them.
35) Oh no. Here we go. I can't watch.
36) Ned tells Yoren that Arya is watching from the statue. I like that that was thrown in there.
37) ARYA. Such a little badass with her tiny little sword going to defend her dad. Have I mentioned how awesome the Starks are?
38) UGH JOFFERY GO AWAY.
39) Holy hell this is really in your face, this is NOT that way in the books let me just say.
40) NED WHY. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NO
41) I'm crying. Arya's crying. Sansa's crying. Everyone's crying.
42) Even Cersei is like 'oh shit. We are SO FUCKED. Good job idiot son of mine.' This is what happens when you inbreed. You give birth to crazy ass psychos who don't listen and start wars.
43) NEEEEDDD WHYYYYYY
44) RIP Khal Drogo. You were fun while it lasted.
45) Richard Madden is such a good actor. With the tree hacking and the crying. Well done.
46) With that, Sophie Turner is even better. That emptiness on her face when being forced to look at her father's head on a spike is seriously Oscar-worthy. (I know, the Oscars are only for movies, but that's how good she is.)
47) *sobs* NED WHYYYYYY
48) HOLY CRAP I stand corrected on the wolf comment! Daaaaaaaaaaaayum. I'm like 95% positive Jamie pooped his pants there.
49) Oh Dany. So tortured. Poor girl. She's got this though.
50) MOTHER EFFIN' DRAGONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, that's right. I've never seen it.
I'll wait while you stare with your mouth agape like a fish.
......
Done?
Anyway, I don't have HBO, and while the show IS right up my alley, I was disappointed (again) to hear that my main reason for seeing said show was killed off in the first season. I'm looking at you, Sean Bean, you adorable hunk of a man. (But like WHY does he always die?? Why?? He is a precious cinnamon roll who has all the talent and is fucking adorable STOP THE MADNESS.)
Anyway. Currently, I have finished the first three books and figured I should actually watch the show so I can be caught up on both by the time season 6 rolls around this April. (Don't think I can do it? Challenge accepted.)
While watching the show, (and having some wine because duh) I had some thoughts. (A friend of mine thinks they're hilarious and was upset I wasn't live tweeting this experience, but I digress.) I present you,
Random Thoughts While Watching 'A Game of Thrones': Season 1
1) These opening credits are legit. I appreciate them because personally, I canNOT figure out where all these damn cities are. It's very helpful.
2) Oh man. The Wall is CRAZY. Just like I pictured it.
3) NED!!! *heart emoji heart emoji heart emoji*
4) THERE'S THE MEME. THERE IT IS. I SEE THE MEME GUYS.
5) O HAI Jon Snow
6) Okay so like, King's Landing is fucking stunning and I want to live there. (Not really)
7) Winterfell is Bae
8) Ugh. Joffery. Ew
9) THE HOUND! So not as gross looking as he should be, come on guys, you can do better than that
10) OMG KING ROBERT IS PERFECT SHOUT OUT TO THE CASTING DEPARTMENT
11) JUST SAY NO NED. YOU'LL THANK ME LATER
12) Tyrion's hair is not THAT blonde in the books. Or the later seasons. What happened there? Is it because he gets so stressed out he goes darker? Is that a thing?
13) He may be a Lannister and I hate his guts, but that Jamie has a sense of HUMOR.
14) There's baby Khaleesi! Without the purple eyes? Again, you guys can do better! It's just contacts!
15) O HAI KHAL DROGO. Seriously Jason Mamoa is a babe
16) Everyone is naked in this show EXCEPT Sean Bean, I call bull!
17) First wave of tears: Jon saying goodbye to Arya. Such innocence!
18) "When I get back, we'll talk about your mother." NO WE WON'T! Also, JON IS SO LYANNA AND RHAEGAR'S KID YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. There I said it.
19) Hold the phone. I just realized something. The actress that plays Cersei is in 300. And is Gerard Butler's badass Queen. Mind. Blown.
20) Seriously Tyrion is the best Lannister. THE SASS.
21) Cat and Ned are the cutest.
22) Dammit Cat. This is why we can't have nice things. PUT THE DWARF BACK WHERE YOU FOUND HIM, YOU'LL THANK ME LATER.
23) Attacking people in the streets randomly because we can? JAMIE THIS IS WHY NO ONE LIKES YOU.
24) Robert is SO done with the Lannister vs Stark crap. If he only knew.
25) WHOA Renly is gay?!?!? I hardcore (har har) missed that memo.
26) LISTEN TO ARYA NED, AND LEAVE. IGNORE ROBERT'S BASTARD CHILDREN AND RUN. JUST DO IT. DOOOOOOO IT. YOU'LL THANK ME LATER.
27) NO NED THAT DOES NOT MEAN WE CONFRONT CERSEI ABOUT HER GROSS LOVE AFFAIR WITH HER TWIN BROTHER WHAT IN SEVEN HELLS ARE YOU DOING YOU ADORABLE HONORABLE IDIOT
28) RIP Robert. You were entertaining. And kind of an idiot. And now shit is going to hit the fan. Thanks for that.
29) Seriously the Starks are the BEST family and I want them to adopt me.
30) Oh no. They're killing EVERYONE. This is filmed SO well. I feel like I'm there.
31) OH HAI ROBB STARK there you are.
32) I'm a little concerned about these direwolves. I mean, I realize you can't have ACTUAL wolves but as cute as the huskies are, they're just NOT that intimidating.
33) Oh Jamie. So captured.
34) Whatever you do, do NOT call Ned a traitor in front of Jon. He knows how to wield sharp pointy things and is NOT afraid to use them.
35) Oh no. Here we go. I can't watch.
36) Ned tells Yoren that Arya is watching from the statue. I like that that was thrown in there.
37) ARYA. Such a little badass with her tiny little sword going to defend her dad. Have I mentioned how awesome the Starks are?
38) UGH JOFFERY GO AWAY.
39) Holy hell this is really in your face, this is NOT that way in the books let me just say.
40) NED WHY. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NO
41) I'm crying. Arya's crying. Sansa's crying. Everyone's crying.
42) Even Cersei is like 'oh shit. We are SO FUCKED. Good job idiot son of mine.' This is what happens when you inbreed. You give birth to crazy ass psychos who don't listen and start wars.
43) NEEEEDDD WHYYYYYY
44) RIP Khal Drogo. You were fun while it lasted.
45) Richard Madden is such a good actor. With the tree hacking and the crying. Well done.
46) With that, Sophie Turner is even better. That emptiness on her face when being forced to look at her father's head on a spike is seriously Oscar-worthy. (I know, the Oscars are only for movies, but that's how good she is.)
47) *sobs* NED WHYYYYYY
48) HOLY CRAP I stand corrected on the wolf comment! Daaaaaaaaaaaayum. I'm like 95% positive Jamie pooped his pants there.
49) Oh Dany. So tortured. Poor girl. She's got this though.
50) MOTHER EFFIN' DRAGONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Rambles of New Beginnings
It's hard writing down your thoughts. Especially for someone like me, my brain goes 100 miles a minute and I bounce from topic to topic; I can't even keep up with myself most of the time.
So just when I thought everything was going to get worse-life throws a curveball, and suddenly it all seems like it's going to be fine again. I love my new job, it's everything I've wanted. I have my own desk, I get left alone to do my work, the girls are nice, my bosses are hilarious, it's a super chill place. I got very lucky when I got assigned to this department. I'm very happy there, which is a first; I haven't been excited for work in a very long time.
With this happiness, though, I'm worried about completely giving in though. The fear that I will screw something up and ruin it all. The nervousness that it won't last. I just know that it's going to be taken from me. But do I? Do I know that for sure? No. And honestly, it more than likely won't go away. But there's always this negativity that pops out of nowhere. That nagging that tells you that you're not good enough for happiness, that you don't deserve it. I know I'm allowed to be happy and full of life like I used to be, I know that. I think in a way we hold onto those negative thoughts because in a way, it's safe. It's a safe zone to listen to the negativity, that way if something does happen, we won't be surprised by it. We can say 'yep, I knew it. I saw it coming', so it hurts less, because we prepared for it.
With all of that though, I still have this new-found determination to not let the negatives take over me, my life, my direction. To do more. See more. Be more. Try new things, go to new places, be myself again. To do what I want to do, and forget those who don't understand it.
I'm going to New York in June. Just for fun, and just for like a day and a half total. I'm going to see "She Loves Me", do a tiny bit of sightseeing maybe. Going for that short of time probably makes me batcrap crazy, but I don't care. I want to go, so I'm going. I'm nervous because I'll be alone, but I'm also excited. Trying something new is scary, but New York is the city of dreams, right? Of magic?Anything could happen.
And I do, I believe in magic. I believe that things can happen in the blink of an eye, for whatever reason. Serendipity. I had forgotten that. I forgot what it was like to just live. And I'm going t go back to that. I'm going to open my mind, and open my heart. Let God in for once, instead of fighting against Him. I have so many new choices and adventures ahead of me. It's time that I just soak up life, and have a little (a lot) of faith that the magic will take over.
So just when I thought everything was going to get worse-life throws a curveball, and suddenly it all seems like it's going to be fine again. I love my new job, it's everything I've wanted. I have my own desk, I get left alone to do my work, the girls are nice, my bosses are hilarious, it's a super chill place. I got very lucky when I got assigned to this department. I'm very happy there, which is a first; I haven't been excited for work in a very long time.
With this happiness, though, I'm worried about completely giving in though. The fear that I will screw something up and ruin it all. The nervousness that it won't last. I just know that it's going to be taken from me. But do I? Do I know that for sure? No. And honestly, it more than likely won't go away. But there's always this negativity that pops out of nowhere. That nagging that tells you that you're not good enough for happiness, that you don't deserve it. I know I'm allowed to be happy and full of life like I used to be, I know that. I think in a way we hold onto those negative thoughts because in a way, it's safe. It's a safe zone to listen to the negativity, that way if something does happen, we won't be surprised by it. We can say 'yep, I knew it. I saw it coming', so it hurts less, because we prepared for it.
With all of that though, I still have this new-found determination to not let the negatives take over me, my life, my direction. To do more. See more. Be more. Try new things, go to new places, be myself again. To do what I want to do, and forget those who don't understand it.
I'm going to New York in June. Just for fun, and just for like a day and a half total. I'm going to see "She Loves Me", do a tiny bit of sightseeing maybe. Going for that short of time probably makes me batcrap crazy, but I don't care. I want to go, so I'm going. I'm nervous because I'll be alone, but I'm also excited. Trying something new is scary, but New York is the city of dreams, right? Of magic?Anything could happen.
And I do, I believe in magic. I believe that things can happen in the blink of an eye, for whatever reason. Serendipity. I had forgotten that. I forgot what it was like to just live. And I'm going t go back to that. I'm going to open my mind, and open my heart. Let God in for once, instead of fighting against Him. I have so many new choices and adventures ahead of me. It's time that I just soak up life, and have a little (a lot) of faith that the magic will take over.
Friday, July 24, 2015
It's a trap!
Shout out to those of you who read that in Admiral Ackbar's voice.
Adulting is a trap. Don't ever adult, kids.
Here's the thing. Recently my friends have been sharing this guy's videos called "Whine About It" where he gets drunk off of wine and rants about shit that bothers him. It's pretty nitpicky, but this last one he was whining about being an adult, and he said one thing that made me actually yell out loud "NO FREAKIN' JOKE!" and that thing was:
'...And all the jobs are like, "Entry level position, must have 30+ years experience and six college degrees".' (I'm paraphrasing, but it's whatever.)
I mean, he's DEAD ON. What IS that?!?! It's an entry position! Not a corporate position, not a management position, not a position where if you screw up people die or something; no, it's literally the position that gets you entered into the company so that you can grow with them. You get paid minimum wage, you work weird hours, and you probably get overworked, but it's okay, because you WANT that job. It'll lead you to working with that company for the rest of your life (hopefully.)
This whole degree thing for jobs that anyone can be taught to do is really disheartening and getting out of hand. One can't get a job with the companies one wants to work for because they're demanding Bachelor's degrees to be an Admin Assistant.
I ask you why? Why? Please tell me, why?
Not the Admin Manager, not the Executive Secretary, not Assistant to the V/P or CEO or COO or anything like that. An Admin Assistant.
..................
Say what.
Do you know who does the job of an Admin Assistant? Literally everybody. You are doing the work of an AA in customer service. You're doing it as a receptionist. You're doing it as an IT rep. You're doing it working at the desk in a hotel. You're doing it answering the phones in the call center at Zappos or whatever.
The only difference is it's all rolled up into one position with a different title. Seriously. I can do an AA job with my eyes closed. Okay, not literally because it'd be hard to type but you get my drift.
This is why we have so many people who stay unemployed or who stay with a job they hate and are overqualified for or why people don't have a drive to move forward with their lives. Degrees have become more important than having someone who's actually worked the field before. People without degrees don't even get considered. It just moves your application status to 'No longer in consideration' after a few weeks.
Makes me sad.
But I tell ya, it won't make me stop applying for those jobs until I wear them down and they give in and hire me!! ;) Stalking until they cave is the key.
Hopefully.
I'll keep you posted.
Adulting is a trap. Don't ever adult, kids.
Here's the thing. Recently my friends have been sharing this guy's videos called "Whine About It" where he gets drunk off of wine and rants about shit that bothers him. It's pretty nitpicky, but this last one he was whining about being an adult, and he said one thing that made me actually yell out loud "NO FREAKIN' JOKE!" and that thing was:
'...And all the jobs are like, "Entry level position, must have 30+ years experience and six college degrees".' (I'm paraphrasing, but it's whatever.)
I mean, he's DEAD ON. What IS that?!?! It's an entry position! Not a corporate position, not a management position, not a position where if you screw up people die or something; no, it's literally the position that gets you entered into the company so that you can grow with them. You get paid minimum wage, you work weird hours, and you probably get overworked, but it's okay, because you WANT that job. It'll lead you to working with that company for the rest of your life (hopefully.)
This whole degree thing for jobs that anyone can be taught to do is really disheartening and getting out of hand. One can't get a job with the companies one wants to work for because they're demanding Bachelor's degrees to be an Admin Assistant.
I ask you why? Why? Please tell me, why?
Not the Admin Manager, not the Executive Secretary, not Assistant to the V/P or CEO or COO or anything like that. An Admin Assistant.
..................
Say what.
Do you know who does the job of an Admin Assistant? Literally everybody. You are doing the work of an AA in customer service. You're doing it as a receptionist. You're doing it as an IT rep. You're doing it working at the desk in a hotel. You're doing it answering the phones in the call center at Zappos or whatever.
The only difference is it's all rolled up into one position with a different title. Seriously. I can do an AA job with my eyes closed. Okay, not literally because it'd be hard to type but you get my drift.
This is why we have so many people who stay unemployed or who stay with a job they hate and are overqualified for or why people don't have a drive to move forward with their lives. Degrees have become more important than having someone who's actually worked the field before. People without degrees don't even get considered. It just moves your application status to 'No longer in consideration' after a few weeks.
Makes me sad.
But I tell ya, it won't make me stop applying for those jobs until I wear them down and they give in and hire me!! ;) Stalking until they cave is the key.
Hopefully.
I'll keep you posted.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Let Me Rant At You A Thing.....
So.
Today I saw a post made by a friend that had all these really adorable romantic things being done: roses on the bed, dinner being made, marriage proposal, etc. And it really broke my heart.
Not because I'm single & don't have any of that, but because of her caption on this super cute post:
"Only in a dream..."
How heartbreaking. Absolutely heartbreaking to me that this wonderful person thinks that she will never have that; that she has to settle for someone who will, in her mind, NEVER do that for & instead feels that she will be doomed to have a boy (yes, boy) who will only treat her as second rate & nothing more.
I know so many girls like this. I listen to the girls at work talk about how nothing is ever perfect & romance doesn't exist, that it's better to have someone at all than to be alone with nothing. I have girlfriends who are with boys that put holes in walls & are nothing but life-sucking people who never have any thing good to say or bring to the table.
It actually really pains me that, especially in these times, after so much fighting to defend ourselves for who we are, there are still women out there who think they are worth nothing more than just one glance from a silly little boy who knows nothing about love nor wants to try to know anything.
Of course, I don't know these girl's stories, not completely. I just know what I've seen with my own eyes, or read on Facebook. I don't know what they've gone through in their lives to have them believe this about themselves, or anything like that. And I definitely don't want to pretend to.
What I do know, is that I was there. I was there. I settled for someone who was not for me at all, but I went with it anyway, because it's better than being alone right? 3 years later, & sure enough, my lesson was learned. I am very particular about what I want in a spouse, & I let it go completely all for the wrong reasons. I was scared of being alone. Scared that no one else would, or could, take interest in me again.
It was really hard, coming back from that. I was shattered, of course from the pain he had caused me, but also from the fact that I had, in a way, let him hurt me. I knew I shouldn't have been with him, we were definitely not right for each other, & I did it anyway. I let myself stay with a boy who had no romantic drive or any respect for himself or me. I was angry with him, but I was also angry with myself for not sticking to my guns.
Who was I? Why in the Hell would I do that?? I thought I was independent, & strong, & I was. To a point.
But everyone has their breaking point, you know? Whether it's because you don't want to be alone anymore, or because it's the first time in a long time you've gotten any attention from anyone other than your parents (or cat), or because he's just...SO....PRETTY......At some point you crack. You hear your friends in the back of your head: 'You're so picky!", "It's just a one night stand!", "Come on, he's GORGEOUS!", "You're going to die alone", "Crazy cat lady, that's what you'll become!", "You honestly think you can afford to be this demanding?".....Over & over again until suddenly, they're right! What is wrong with me?? It's not like he's a serial killer or something....
And the next thing you know, you're part of a relationship that has spiraled out of control. You're not happy anymore. You spend your weekends having house parties with weed & Beer Pong & people peeing on the walls or throwing up in the bathroom. You end the nights fighting with your spouse all the time. You find yourself trying to drop hints about things you'd love for them to do for you. You find yourself saying things like "Well, I have to ask (insert spouse name here) if it's okay." You keep your opposite sex friends at an arm's length. You start to think 'If I do these things, it'll be perfect, & they'll do ABC.'
I learned the hard way they don't.
I learned the hard way NEVER to give up on the demands you have for a spouse.
It's still a struggle for me, I still get the occasional "You're so picky!"
But the difference, is that now I say "Hell yea! I don't deserve anything less." And I don't.
And neither do you.
Please. Please please please don't ever settle for anything less than butterflies. Don't settle for anything less than pure beauty & someone that is going to treat you like the precious & beautiful creature that you are. You have gone through so much, & you have made it this far. You are strong, & kind, & have so much going for you. Don't let yourself fall victim to other people's judgments. Don't give up.
I didn't used to think so either, but Prince Charming IS real. Romance IS real. The roses on the bed, the surprise clean house, the random getaway trips, good morning notes on your car; whatever it is that is romance & love to you, IT IS OUT THERE. I've seen it. I have yet to experience it, but that's okay, because I know that one day I will.
One day all my waiting will find me someone.
I promise you will find someone.
You just have to look at yourself, a really good look, & find what's important to you.
And stick to it.
You are loved. By many.
Don't ever forget that. <3
Today I saw a post made by a friend that had all these really adorable romantic things being done: roses on the bed, dinner being made, marriage proposal, etc. And it really broke my heart.
Not because I'm single & don't have any of that, but because of her caption on this super cute post:
"Only in a dream..."
How heartbreaking. Absolutely heartbreaking to me that this wonderful person thinks that she will never have that; that she has to settle for someone who will, in her mind, NEVER do that for & instead feels that she will be doomed to have a boy (yes, boy) who will only treat her as second rate & nothing more.
I know so many girls like this. I listen to the girls at work talk about how nothing is ever perfect & romance doesn't exist, that it's better to have someone at all than to be alone with nothing. I have girlfriends who are with boys that put holes in walls & are nothing but life-sucking people who never have any thing good to say or bring to the table.
It actually really pains me that, especially in these times, after so much fighting to defend ourselves for who we are, there are still women out there who think they are worth nothing more than just one glance from a silly little boy who knows nothing about love nor wants to try to know anything.
Of course, I don't know these girl's stories, not completely. I just know what I've seen with my own eyes, or read on Facebook. I don't know what they've gone through in their lives to have them believe this about themselves, or anything like that. And I definitely don't want to pretend to.
What I do know, is that I was there. I was there. I settled for someone who was not for me at all, but I went with it anyway, because it's better than being alone right? 3 years later, & sure enough, my lesson was learned. I am very particular about what I want in a spouse, & I let it go completely all for the wrong reasons. I was scared of being alone. Scared that no one else would, or could, take interest in me again.
It was really hard, coming back from that. I was shattered, of course from the pain he had caused me, but also from the fact that I had, in a way, let him hurt me. I knew I shouldn't have been with him, we were definitely not right for each other, & I did it anyway. I let myself stay with a boy who had no romantic drive or any respect for himself or me. I was angry with him, but I was also angry with myself for not sticking to my guns.
Who was I? Why in the Hell would I do that?? I thought I was independent, & strong, & I was. To a point.
But everyone has their breaking point, you know? Whether it's because you don't want to be alone anymore, or because it's the first time in a long time you've gotten any attention from anyone other than your parents (or cat), or because he's just...SO....PRETTY......At some point you crack. You hear your friends in the back of your head: 'You're so picky!", "It's just a one night stand!", "Come on, he's GORGEOUS!", "You're going to die alone", "Crazy cat lady, that's what you'll become!", "You honestly think you can afford to be this demanding?".....Over & over again until suddenly, they're right! What is wrong with me?? It's not like he's a serial killer or something....
And the next thing you know, you're part of a relationship that has spiraled out of control. You're not happy anymore. You spend your weekends having house parties with weed & Beer Pong & people peeing on the walls or throwing up in the bathroom. You end the nights fighting with your spouse all the time. You find yourself trying to drop hints about things you'd love for them to do for you. You find yourself saying things like "Well, I have to ask (insert spouse name here) if it's okay." You keep your opposite sex friends at an arm's length. You start to think 'If I do these things, it'll be perfect, & they'll do ABC.'
I learned the hard way they don't.
I learned the hard way NEVER to give up on the demands you have for a spouse.
It's still a struggle for me, I still get the occasional "You're so picky!"
But the difference, is that now I say "Hell yea! I don't deserve anything less." And I don't.
And neither do you.
Please. Please please please don't ever settle for anything less than butterflies. Don't settle for anything less than pure beauty & someone that is going to treat you like the precious & beautiful creature that you are. You have gone through so much, & you have made it this far. You are strong, & kind, & have so much going for you. Don't let yourself fall victim to other people's judgments. Don't give up.
I didn't used to think so either, but Prince Charming IS real. Romance IS real. The roses on the bed, the surprise clean house, the random getaway trips, good morning notes on your car; whatever it is that is romance & love to you, IT IS OUT THERE. I've seen it. I have yet to experience it, but that's okay, because I know that one day I will.
One day all my waiting will find me someone.
I promise you will find someone.
You just have to look at yourself, a really good look, & find what's important to you.
And stick to it.
You are loved. By many.
Don't ever forget that. <3
Monday, April 21, 2014
Thursday, February 20, 2014
OH MY GOD
I AM GOING TO COMIC CON 2014!!! It's official!!
I CANNOT CONTROL MY EXCITEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's scaring my animals. Oopsies.
But seriously, as cheesy as it may sound, I honestly never thought I would get to go and the fact that I am just means that this year is finally off to the right start. I really believe that things are only going to get better from here. I can feel it in my bones. In my blood vessels even.
Hello life, I've been waiting for you.
COMIC COOOON!!!!!!
I CANNOT CONTROL MY EXCITEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's scaring my animals. Oopsies.
But seriously, as cheesy as it may sound, I honestly never thought I would get to go and the fact that I am just means that this year is finally off to the right start. I really believe that things are only going to get better from here. I can feel it in my bones. In my blood vessels even.
Hello life, I've been waiting for you.
COMIC COOOON!!!!!!
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