"I was in seventh grade when I realized I was invisible. Well, not that kind of invisible. No, it was more like I was just,you know, kind of....Anonymous"

I mean really Kate from John Tucker Must Die was written about me.

Except for the whole John Tucker part. My life was NOT that exciting.

But Kate herself IS me. No boyfriends, not really any friends. (Seriously growing up is just ugly.) Kind of and outcast, but not completely; mostly people just looking at me like "I don't understand."

'Course now that's the norm. ::rolls eyes:: I can't.

I mean is it really too much to ask for a man that holds the door open or offers you his jacket when you're cold or has a crazy sense of humor and fun and is passionate about romance and actually trying instead of what is solely under your pants? Someone who wants a family with you and is actually devoted to you? Someone who won't spend the entirety of your dates and time together playing on his phone?

Do men like that even exist? Do they? I don't think so.

Oh wait....

Okay but seriously I will probably never meet either of those two. So basically.....

It's come to my attention that I will be alone the rest of my life. I live in a world of girls who worship guys like Justin Bieber & Chris Brown and it's gotten to the point where it's the norm to be treated crappy by guys and never have any hope of finding anything better because there ISN'T any better because that's how we've pretty much conditioned guys to treat us. 

There's no chase, there's no dating, there's no challenge, nothing actually worth fighting for; no respect. It's a "Why stay? I can just get a new one" and it's so sad.

I don't know what's worse, being alone because you refuse to settle or being with someone because settling is really your only option. 

I think I deserve to have a man like those two. (Preferably actually one of those two. You never know!) I think every woman deserves to have a man like those two. Someone kind, and caring, and devoted. 

I get called picky all the time for how I treat a guy. I'm not rude, I'm not bitchy, but I can tell in the first 5 minutes whether you're worth my time or not; and sorry I'm not sorry I require my standards high. Low standards backfired in my face with my first boyfriend, so now I listen to what I want. That is NOT bad! 

Have a little decency in your lives ladies. It's okay to wait for something that will be so excellent to you you'll wonder how you lived without it in the first place. 

(PS: Ben, Tom; darlings, call me! ;) )

"It's Risky Saying Yes"

Everyone's on dates with their spouses and I'm like....I just saw William Shatner at The Smith Center!

The sound of crickets and the pity looks are Oscar-winning, really.

And people wonder why I'm single. That ^. That right up there.

I mean who the Hell goes to see William Shatner do stand up?

::raises hand:: I doooooo!

And he made me laugh. And cry. And then laugh some more. I've always loved Shatner but this just re-affirmed it. He's so enigmatic. He looks at life in such a rare way.

He says that it's "Risky saying yes." He's not wrong, and I have to start saying yes to things I want. Between my new shift, CrossFit, & the simple fact that I went to this show alone shows that I've started to. It's very interesting so far and I haven't been disappointed yet. I think I'll start saying yes to more and more things, even things I might have been uncomfortable with at some point. New chapter? Maybe.

Of course, safety first kids.

LLAP

Testing...Testing...

I have really no idea how this works?

I guess it's like an online journal of sorts. We'll see if I can actually keep up with this one. I'm really terrible with physical journals, but I have a creepy love affair with my laptop so I think this will be easier.

It definitely looks pretty.